Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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