IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
