after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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