I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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