shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
