You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
