if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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