If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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