you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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