I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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