she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
