if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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