Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
