I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It's official drugs can't kill me
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
