We won't sleep together?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
