I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
