Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize