the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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