i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Randomize
