Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
