You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
