plz talk dirty to me
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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