hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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