ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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