my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
