guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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