I wish you could order shots online.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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