yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
