oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
