I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
