I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
