Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
