: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
