So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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