i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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