I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
