I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
