You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
