I faked an abortion last night.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
