They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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