If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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