This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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