if i can run in heels then i can drive
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
