I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
