Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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