we're blogging at a bar
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
