i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
