sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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