Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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