i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Randomize
