She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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