That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
