i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
