too bad you live with your parents still
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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