it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
