Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
