Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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