i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
