Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize