11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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