They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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