for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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